Love, sex, and intimacy are essential components that great marriages require for complete stability. Real love is the spiritual aspect, sex is physical and intimacy is emotional. It would be difficult to love your spouse if you only thought about yourself. This is not real love. Selfish people often have a difficult time giving of themselves, and yet, that is what love is all about. Love is more than a feeling, it is an action, and therefore, real love takes effort and sincerity.

LOVE:

In scripture, a husband is commanded to love his wife. What do you think is going to happen if that love is not a sincere love for his wife? She will feel frustration, resentment, and anger, and she will have a very difficult time submitting herself to the man she married. When a husband does not love his wife the way God has asked him to love his wife, all sorts of problems will develop in the marriage, mainly rebelliousness, and selfish thinking.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, love himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

Husbands are commanded to love their wife for a very beautiful reason. It brings about the ideal biblical marriage that God himself designed. Marriage is a holy union, and a living symbol that needs self-sacrificing care. A husband should be willing to sacrifice everything, including himself, for his wife. He should make her well being of prime importance to him. Meaning, do whatever it takes to protect, care for, and love her, without expecting anything in return. I do not think there is a woman on this planet that if loved by their husband in this way, would fear submitting to her man if he treated her in this way!

SEX:

Sex between a man and a woman in marriage can be a totally beautiful experience when real love is felt and acted upon. The sexual relationship can be a healthy and productive when both husband and wife feel good about their designated roles and positions in the marriage.

Why do some women feel that all their husbands ever want or care about is sex? If a husband is neglecting certain areas in the marriage where a woman needs to feel like a woman and feel good about who she is, then she will feel exploited and abused by her man sexually.

A woman who feels neglected in the love department will not want to have sex with her husband. A woman, who knows that she is loved in ALL areas of marriage, will not have a hard time taking pleasure in having sex with the man she married. She will not have a difficult time initiating the lovemaking either.

This is precisely why God says for a man to love his wife as Christ does the church because if a woman rejects her husband sexually, what do you think he is going to do? That"s right, look elsewhere. So men, don’t neglect your wife in any area of the marriage, give away your love willingly, without wanting anything in return, protect, and care for your wife, and be willing to give everything up for her and she will submit to your love in every way imaginable to her.

INTIMACY:

Intimacy like love takes action to complete its purpose. Having a loving, giving, and sharing relationship with the person you married provides couples the closeness that marriage craves. The bonds of intimacy are shared on each level in marriage from romance, to sex, to areas of communication. Couples can feel intimate by sharing a simple conversation with one another.

Women who are loved and feel close to their husbands are more apt to be respectful and devoted wives. A woman who is truly loved will utilize all of her creative talents and god given abilities that she has been blessed with; her husband will never be in need of anything. So you can see how, love, sex, and intimacy are all desirable attributes for a healthy and productive marriage.

If you lack in one of the areas described above, discuss it with your spouse, find out together what you can do to bring out the attribute you are lacking and work on it together. I encourage you to see just how truly unique and special your marriage can be by loving and sharing yourself with each other on an intimate level.

Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. Journey on the Roads Less Traveled is a book about love, life, addiction and marriage. Love The Man You Married is an informative and biblically centered book tackling such issues as adultery and learning to completely forgive your spouse.

For more information on these books, visit Angie"s marriage ministry at http://www.heavenministries.com and while you"re there, sign up for the monthly marriage newsletter.

Marriage – it’s been with humankind for thousands of years. And is usually defined as the “legitimate union between husband and wife”.

Even with the ever-increasing divorce rates, marriage still remains the preferred method of coexistence between “coupled” men and women. Even after divorce more people look to get re-married than not.

But even after having previous marriages people find that there was still a lot of work to be done to keep their relationship going strong.

Love is the catalyst that bonds two people together, and for a couple to truly be happy they must love each other.

The dictionary describes love thus:

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Of course some may say “we can’t live on love alone”. That is obviously a true statement. But at least when there’s love, there’s a fighting chance a couple can make it to a “seasoned love”, one that has made it through all the struggles of day-to-day life and has evolved into a marriage that is everyone’s goal: a marriage where there’s respect, honesty and openness, friendship and intimacy.

The list above is a very “short list” to be sure. There are actually all sorts of qualities that may be more, or equally important to some people.

There are also many conditions to a happy marriage. Some are even “outside” conditions that must be handled and put in their proper place, such as extended family and our careers. Others are internal and close to our hearts and minds: our children, home, hobbies and interests, and the “biggy” – finances! A couple can ever find happiness with constant frustrations and worries over money.

If you define love by the things that are most important to a relationship, then “love” becomes the most important part of a marriage. Staying in love over the years becomes something you have to work very hard for.

Talk to your mate and ask yourselves these questions:

1. Do we respect each other

2. Are we honest and open with each other

3. Are we best friends

4. Are we happy with our intimacy

Once you get your answers you may want to start to get to work on some of the issues you have discovered.

Start with small baby steps. Take action to make sure your “house” in order - finances, balance between family, career, home, hobbies and outside interests.

This is the first page of the recipe for “Making the Most Out Of Your Marriage”.

Now get started on making your relationship all it can be. It will be challenging, fun, and very rewarding, we promise.

Remember start with communication, and keep on communicating no matter how difficult it is. It is the secret.

Joe & Emily Season are experts when it comes to relationships and marriage. Along with their lifetime of experience working with their own relationships they have helped many people in their lives find happiness. Sign up for their free exciting new ezine at http://www.seasonedlove.com.